Shape Up for Sex, Part Two

In my attempts to get everyone up off their couch and exercising to improve their sex life, here is part two of of "Shape Up for Sex." Part One describes two easy stretches and exercises vital for maintaining flexibility important for your sex life. A much earlier post, "Do you have 2 minutes for Sex?" gives a basic rag-doll stretch that helps relieve muscle tightness from your ankles up to the back of your neck. Check both of these out if you haven't already. Here, we have two more stretches and two more exercises to incorporate into your day. They are simple, don't require any special equipment, and definitely contribute to increased strength and stamina in your sex life.

The first stretch is a stretch of the quadratus lumborum muscle of the lower back. Many people experience tightness in this muscle, but don't know of an effective way of relieving this tension. I find this method to be the most simple, straightforward, and safest way to stretch this muscle. You begin by standing straight up and crossing your right foot in front of your left foot. You may choose to position yourself next to the arm of the couch if you need to hang on to something. Next, you bend your body slowly to the left side until you feel the stretch in your right lower back. Make sure that you are bending straight to the side and not bending your body forward. Next, hold this position for between 30-60 seconds. Remember that in order to have an effective stretch, you need to hold it more than 30 seconds with no bouncing. Then switch legs and stretch to the other side.

The next stretch is the child's pose from yoga. This is another wonderful stretch for both the lower back, as well as the upper back and shoulders. You start by kneeling and sitting back onto your feet. Then you bend your body forward with your arms stretched out in front of you. As you exhale, lower your head until your forward touches the floor. Then relax into this stretch and hold this position for one minute.

And now for the exercises. We will start with push ups. These build strength that not only help men stabilize themselves in positions when they are on top, but also can be helpful for women especially when trying positions such as being on all fours, or seated on top of her partner and using her arms to hold the back of a chair or couch. The goal is to be able to do 3 sets of 10 push ups. If you cannot do 10 consecutively, do as many as you can and work your way up over time. If you are not strong enough to do one full push up, which is the case for many women, you can place your knees on the floor and push up from there instead of your toes. The most important thing about push ups is to keep your body straight (as in the plank position) and not lift up your hips.

The last exercise today concentrates on your thighs. At first, it seems quite simple. But after several repetitions, you will feel the work out in your muscles. Start by squatting on the floor with your feet about shoulder width apart and the palms of your hands flat on the floor. From this position, you will push your palms into the floor as you straighten your legs. The motion ends when you have straightened your legs as much as you can while still keeping your hands flat on the floor. Your goal for this exercise is to do 3 sets of 30 repetitions. Like the push ups, if you cannot do a full 30 repetitions, do as many as you can and work your way up to 30 over time.

For those who already have a regular workout routine, adding these simple stretches and exercises add to your strength and flexibility for a variety of sex positions. For those who do not have a regular workout routine, these are simple movements that take only a few minutes a day and will maintain your sexual fitness. So use these and put yourself in optimal shape for good sex.

Shape Up for Sex, Part One

Today, I would like to present a few stretches and exercises that are easy to perform and can improve your sexual performance and satisfaction. If you take care of yourself, you put yourself in a better position to enjoy sex, feel more comfortable with your body, and increase your sexual pleasure because of it. Let me say that having a regular exercise regimen is the best plan for your overall health and your sexual functioning because it maintains your muscle strength, your metabolism, your endurance, your blood flow, and your sleep patterns. But there are specific exercises that help you strengthen those muscle groups you often use in sex. And if you have been avoiding your body lately, here are some simple suggestions that can get you back on track. They can be done without any special equipment right in your living room or bedroom floor. And the beauty of these is that they are important for both men and women to prepare for a better time in the bedroom. Please do these stretches and exercises on the floor and not on your bed, as the movement of the bed increases your risk for injuries and does not allow for maximal stretching.

Let's start with the stretches. These are particularly important because when you increase your muscle flexibility, you increase your range of motion which allows for increased endurance and comfort in a variety of positions in sex. These stretches should be performed for a couple of minutes a day, every day. This way, you will be able build on your existing flexibility and add to it little by little each day. Remember, that when you stretch, you should hold the position for at least 30 seconds and up to 60 seconds or longer if it possible. The reason for this is that muscle tissue does not fully relax for the first 30 seconds or so and requires more time to get results. Also important is to hold a steady stretch and not to bounce. Although many people stretch this way, it actually promotes muscle tension and does not help you stretch effectively.

The first stretch starts by laying flat on your back on the floor. Take a deep breath in, then exhale. As you do this, feel the tension go out through the bottoms of your feet. Then bend your knees and lift them both up towards your chest. Next, hold on to your knees with your hands, or if you can, wrap your arms around your knees. Your legs will probably be most comfortable on each side of your body. As you do this, pull your knees towards you and hold this position. Breathe normally and with each exhale, imagine your lower back flat against the floor. This will relax the muscles of the lower back while also stretching some of the tiny muscles of the hip joint. You can enjoy this relaxing position for several minutes.

The next stretch is a basic straddle that is often done in gymnastics or in martial arts. The point of this stretch is to loosen any tension in the inner part of the thigh muscles. It is very important that you do not force this position, as there are large tendons here that are not as elastic as the muscles they are connected to. For this stretch, you sit on the floor and place your legs in a "V" shape to each side. It is important that you only spread you legs until you start to feel some tension on the inside of your thighs and no more. Next, place the palms of your hands flat on the floor in front of you to support your body. Then you will start the stretch by leaning forward with your head and body until you feel a good stretch in your inner thighs. Once you have found a good position, hold this and breathe in a slow and relaxed way, imagining with each exhalation that your muscles are stretching just a little bit more. Remember not to bounce here!

Now on to two exercises that are simple to do, but deceptively difficult if you are not accustomed to strengthening your core. The first exercise focuses on the core muscles, especially the abdominals, but can work on upper arms, thighs, buttocks and back if these are not strong. For those of you familiar with yoga, the first exercise I am going to describe is known as "the plank". For those who have not practiced yoga, it is easiest to start laying face down on the floor. Place the palms of your hands on each side of your shoulders and flat against the floor so that your forearms are also flat against the floor. Curl your toes so that you are on the balls of your feet as well. Next, lift your weight up onto your forearms and palms, lifting your entire body down to your feet, and hold this position. You will find that you need to pull your abdominal muscles tight in order to maintain this position. Breathe as normally as possible for at least 15 normal breaths. As your strength increases, you can also increase the time that you hold this position.

The last exercise is known in yoga as "the bridge." You begin by laying on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. Your arms should also be flat on the floor to either side of your body. Next, you will press the soles of your feet into the ground and you lift your hips in the air until your weight is resting only on your feet and your upper back/shoulders. You will find that you need to press your gluteus muscles up towards the ceiling to maintain a straight position. Breathe and hold this position as you did for the plank.

By doing these stretches and exercises, men will find that they can increase their endurance for thrusting and women can increase their ability to press their hips up against their partner to match their thrusts. Stretching also helps take the pressure off of the lower back for both men and women and increases the comfort of maintaining sexual positions for longer periods of time. Remember that good sex starts with taking care of yourself first.

Do you have 2 minutes for sex?

One of my students in her 20's recently told me that she couldn't touch her toes. So I asked her what kind of sex life did she expect to have if she couldn't get her legs over her head, or at least over her partner's shoulders?

Seriously though, my point to her was that the importance of flexibility should not be overlooked for our general health, but more specifically, for the health of our sex life. Feeling limber translates into feeling more comfortable with movement - changing positions, trying new positions, and better enjoyment of our favorite positions. So I would like to give you a very simple stretch that can have a big impact on your flexibility and your sex life. It's easy to do and takes very little time.

It's called a Rag Doll Stretch and in it, you stretch by allowing yourself to just hang loose. First you stand up and make sure have a little bit of room around you. When you first start to do this stretch, it's a good idea to have something to hold onto if you need it, like a table or the arm of the couch. Next, you are going to bend forward and let your arms and head just hang down in front of you. Don't worry if you can't stretch very far. Over time you will see the difference! The beauty of this stretch is that you are going to let gravity do all the work for you. You don't need to push or bounce - just hang. And pay attention to the position of your head. Since your head weighs as much as a bowling ball, if you are holding it up at all, you are tensing your muscles. Instead, you should let it hang loose so that you can relieve the tension in your shoulders and neck and take pressure off of the bones of the neck. If you are looking at the front of your legs or thighs, then you know your head is in the right position.

Now, just breathe normally and take notice of any areas where you have tension. Each time you exhale, imagine any tense areas of muscle becoming relaxed and stretching long and easy. For any stretch to be effective, you have to hold it for at least 30 seconds. If you give it a full 60 seconds, you will allow a good stretch of the muscle fibers and start to feel results. And you can see how it targets a lot of muscles at once - from the back of your heels, up your legs and your entire back, back of the neck, and up to the base of your skull.

So practice this stretch for 1 minute at the beginning of your day and 1 minute at the end of your day and you'll make a big difference in your flexibility. That's less time than it takes for a commercial break! So even though our flexibility decreases over time, we can do something very simple to improve it which can translate into a better sex life. It loosens up the back for better thrusting, lets you move your legs up onto your partner's shoulders for a different positioning of your hips, and helps relieve tension in the neck for all you wonderfully-indulgent givers of oral sex!