How to Give a Woman Oral Sex

Oral sex is often a topic of much interest because so many women enjoy it greatly, and so many men are curious as to how to use oral sex to please their female partner. Although there is quite a bit of variation from woman to woman as to what they like and what their preferences are, there are some guidelines that a person can follow to maximize the oral sex experience for their partner.

The best approach to learning how to give a woman oral sex is to ask her "Teach me . . ." Women often have a sense of how they like to be touched, where, with how much pressure and speed. Remember that when you are asking a woman to teach you, it's about finding out what she likes. This does not necessarily translate to another woman, so even if you have had a previous partner that likes oral sex a certain way, it is worthwhile to find out what your current partner likes.

Next, when performing oral sex, you should try your best to be relaxed. Any hesitation or anxiety may be interpreted negatively by your partner and can be a source of distraction or turn off. If a woman thinks that you are not into it, she is not going to be into it. The best is when you can let yourself go and really eat her out. Attitude and enthusiasm are important.

Remember that women's sexual arousal builds up gradually, and it can progress more slowly than a man's arousal. For that reason, it is always best to start giving a woman oral sex slowly and softly. She may be very sensitive, especially at the start, and going too hard or too fast can be overwhelming. Some women cannot tolerate direct contact with their clitoris and need to have the area pretty wet for it to be comfortable. Others will prefer that you always lick across the clitoris over the skin that covers it so that you don't have direct contact with it. Some will prefer that you incorporate licking over the U-Spot as well. By going slow you have a chance to explore the area and find out just what she likes and where. A good example to follow is thinking about how you would lick an ice-cream cone. You can start off with a wide, soft tongue and take it from there. This is also less tiring, so you can go on for a longer period of time. If she wants you lick harder or have a pointier tongue, she will let you know.

Men, do not underestimate the amount of razor stubble on your face and how this feels. If a man has not had a shave in over 8 hours, his razor stubble could approximate the grain of 120 grit sandpaper, which is pretty abrasive. Sometimes a little pressure from the chin or upper lip can feel nice, but not if you're exfoliating the top layer of musocal tissue. If you think back to the ice-cream example, it may help you remember: while eating an ice-cream cone, you wouldn't stick your chin in it. So if you have razor stubble, make sure it's only lips and tongue are contacting the area.

Once you have found the right spot, women need repeated stimulation in the same area in order to reach orgasm. Remember that orgasm alone should not be the only focus of oral sex. Heightened arousal, lubrication, and pleasurable sensations are all important whether or not she reaches orgasm. Because good oral sex means spending a little time downstairs, make sure to find yourself a comfortable position that you can maintain for at least ten minutes. Don't just lick for one minute then move on. If the position she prefers is too hard on your neck, try lifting her hips up by placing a pillow underneath them, or by having her on her side and resting your head on the inside of her thigh. Also, you do not have to tolerate being suffocated or having your head squeezed by her legs, so use your hands on the inside of her thighs to remind her if needed.

Every woman is different, so let her be your guide and don't hesitate to communicate with her for a mutually pleasurable experience. May you eat heartily and regularly!

The U-Spot

It seems that it's in our nature as humans to want to put labels on everything because it helps us feel like we have control or power over things. So I was amused when someone today brought up the "U-Spot" after reading about it in Esquire Magazine. The U-Spot is not new, and it's certainly familiar to a multitude of women whose partners like to explore the area during oral sex. But for those who have not heard about the U-Spot, I thought it would be helpful to talk about what it is and why it gets the buzz that it does.

The U-Spot is the common term given to the area that surrounds the opening of the urethra in women. This area can be particularly sensitive because the female urethra is surrounded by spongy erectile tissue that fills with blood upon sexual arousal. This spongy tissue extends from the anterior vaginal wall, around the urethra, all the way to the pubic bone. Anatomists have called this spongy tissue the Skene's glands, or the periurethral glands. Some even call it the female prostate and believe this is where female ejaculate may come from. The skin that is directly over this spongy tissue, then, is known as the U-Spot. It's already very sensitive on it's own, but becomes even more sensitive once a woman gets sexually aroused.

So what am I supposed to do with this U-Spot, you ask? First let me say that if you are approaching this with a an attitude of "I've got to find this" then take a step back. So many people develop this performance-based attitude that feeds your ego, but takes away from your enjoyment and the fun of exploration. Plus, women like to feel that you are interested in her body, not in checking off a list of things to do. The sexiest attitude to take is a playful, exploratory experience and then see what feels good to her. Now that that's out of my system.....

The U-Spot feels the best when it is wet and touched gently. You do not need to put a lot of pressure on it, and many women have discovered this spot just from their partner rubbing the head of their penis up and down their labia. This is a motion that can be incorporated with stimulation of the clitoris and can be a way to reach orgasm all on its own for some women. The U-Spot can also be stimulated with fingers, but remember - gentle stroking across it is usually more pleasurable than pushing on it (it's a spot, not a button). Once again, incorporating this stroking with stroking of the clitoris above it may also be a pathway to orgasm for some women. And as with all things having to do with sexuality and anatomy, some women have very sensitive U-Spots, while some do not. When using fingers, you may find she likes to have some wet stroking all the way from the clitoris, over the U-Spot and then just into the opening of the vagina.

But most people would agree that oral sex is one of the best ways to stimulate the U-Spot. This is because it already makes the area wet and has less friction than the skin of the fingers. The easiest way to find it is to find the opening of the vagina with your tongue, then softly and slowly lick upwards towards the clitoris, as if you are licking an ice-cream cone. This way, you can see which area she is most sensitive in, and you won't overwhelm her with too much pressure or speed. Once you find the spot she likes, you can experiment with putting different amounts of pressure with your tongue, or going faster or slower.

So there's the skinny on the U-Spot, which you may already know, even if the name is not familiar. So for those women who have been deriving pleasure from this already, continue to enjoy and don't worry about the name.