The Skinny on Condoms

Safe sex is synonymous with using condoms. Whether you choose to use a traditional condom (for men) or the larger female condoms, a barrier method is the only way to currently protect against bacterial or viral infections being passed from one partner to another. Remember that sexual contact even one time with a partner can result in a sexually transmitted infection, and you can't always tell who has an infection or who doesn't. Sometimes a person may not even know if they themselves have an infection (such as HPV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, trichomonas, or HIV) when they meet a new partner, so you should be responsible to protect yourself.

Although condoms are the gold standard for STI prevention, there are several things that cause people to shy away from using condoms. Some of these complaints are decreased sensitivity, difficulty in keeping an erection while using a condom, discomfort in wearing a condom, and irritation during or after using a condom. It may take a little trial and error, but most of these issues can be overcome with some practical information and practice.

Firstly, in order to put on a condom, a man should already have an erection that is satisfactory. If you attempt to put on a condom before a man has a complete erection, the pressure from the condom could actually prevent having sufficient blood filling the penis for a good erection. Once a man has an erection, however, this pressure does not effect the hardness of the erection. Some men, however, find that they start to lose their erection when they put on a condom. This is usually related to their thoughts about condoms which can cause anxiety or negative ideas, or is a combination of those psychological factors combined with physical factors.

If a condom does not fit well, it can result in decreased sensitivity, discomfort, or even pain. For most men, finding a condom that has the proper width (yes they vary in how wide they are as well as how long) makes all the difference. If a condom ring is too tight around the shaft of the penis, it may be too uncomfortable to get lost in the moment and really enjoy sex. If the width seems to be ok, but there is still a considerable decrease in sensitivity, try using condoms that have a wider area around the tip, so that there is movement around the most sensitive part of the penis during penetration, which feels more natural. Regardless of what style of male condom you choose, you should leave some extra space at the tip of the condom to give room for the semen to collect after ejaculation. If your erection is a little shorter than the condom, it is better to leave more extra space at the top, since you should be able to unroll the condom completely for comfort and effective use. With practice, you will know just how much to leave for yourself.

If you are finding that male-style condoms are too constricting for comfortable sex, then you may benefit from trying female condoms. They are condoms designed to be inserted into the vagina and stay put with a ring that holds onto the cervix. They are inserted all the way into the vagina with the outer ring covering part of the labia first, then pushing the rest of it up as far as it will go and having the inner ring surround the cervix. The outer ring always stays on the outside and actually provides more coverage of the labia, which can decrease those sexually transmitted infections that are passed on with skin to skin contact (like genital warts and Herpes). Since the female condom is much wider, it doesn't cause the squeezing that is uncomfortable for men who are very wide. The female condom does take some practice to use effectively, and you must ensure that the outer ring doesn't slip into the vagina during penetration (sometimes you may need to adjust it).

One of the great drawbacks of using condoms is that people may experience more irritation during or after sex. It is important to use lubrication on the outside of the condom and should be reapplied regularly during sex. Keeping the lube within arm's reach during sex helps keep the action moving right along. Since condoms are destroyed by oils, choose only water-based lubricants. Also, keep in mind that many people find glycerin to be be irritating to their mucosal tissues, so finding a glycerin-free lube is always best. Never use lotions, creams, or any other type of lube not specifically designed for sex since they may contain oils in them and can be very irritating inside. Stay away from condoms that contain nonoxynol-9 spermicide, since this is particularly irritating.

If you find that latex condoms are the cause of your irritation (or you just don't care for the taste, smell, or feel), find yourself condoms made of polyurethane or polyisoprene. Both of these are thinner than latex, so provide a more natural feel. Polyurethane is much less stretchy than polyisoprene (which is a great plus for some people), but transfers body heat pretty well. These are all options to consider when finding the condom that you like the best. By finding the condom that works best with your anatomy and preferences, many of the complaints often heard with condom use can be eliminated for a safe, pleasurable sexual experience. And don't forget your "Kiss of Mint" for safe sex while giving a blowjob!

Wide-eyed

There have been a multitude of articles and advertising in the media stating that women prefer to experience a wider penis over a longer penis. And this is truly the case. When surveyed, 90% of women stated that width was more important to their sexual satisfaction than was length. It seems that in publishing their research, Masters and Johnson did not consider certain factors when they said that penis size has no real physiological effect on a woman's sexual pleasure and satisfaction. In order to understand a little more what they may have been missing, it's important to think about the anatomy.

First, let's talk about the clitoris. Most people are familiar with the little pink pearl that sits at the top of the labia. It is extremely sensitive and is covered by a little hood of skin that is actually where the top of the labia come together. But there is much more to the clitoris than just what you can see and feel. The entire clitoris is shaped like a capital A (without the bar in the middle). It's legs (crurae) extend down and under the pubic bone, and it also has extensions that follow along each side of the vaginal opening, called the vestibular bulbs. The entire clitoris is made up of spongy tissue that fills with blood when a woman gets aroused.

When a man has a wider penis, there is more pressure put on the vestibular bulbs which gives a pleasurable feeling of fullness at the vaginal opening. Some researchers have commented that this feeling of fullness is both physically and psychologically pleasing. Also, with a wider penis, there is more tension on the labia, which in turn causes more tugging and movement at the hood covering the clitoris. This adds stimulation to the clitoris in addition to the surrounding tissues. The entire vulva, including the labia, clitoris, and the lower 1/3 of the vagina is innervated by the Pudendal nerve. The more surface area you have contact with at any one time, the more you have exciting signals travelling up through that nerve. There may be some element to the stretch of the PC muscle at the vaginal opening that adds to the pleasure - also transmitted via the Pudendal nerve. Remember, this nerve covers the whole area including below the vaginal opening and the anus. This also benefits from a little tension from a wider penis going through the lips and vaginal opening.

Now, an average erect penis is about 10cm in circumference (that's about 4 inches around for those of us not on the metric system). So all of you who are wondering how you measure up, we'll wait while you take out the tape measure.....Ok. Now there are different techniques to give a woman the feeling of a wider penis. One such technique is to have a slight circular motion as you thrust. In this way, the shaft of the penis pushes more against the sides of the vaginal opening, giving the woman that extra pressure and tension. This can also be done by choosing an angle of entry that allows you to put more pressure on the fourchette below the vaginal opening where the labia end in a little "v." This works to also tug the labia a little more and stretch the PC muscle. And still others are much more imaginative, finding ways to work in extra fingers or using penile sleeves. So that's the skinny on width. No comment on bumpy penises.