Prostate Stimulation for Sexual Pleasure

The prostate is a gland in men that contributes to semen by producing up to a third of the fluid that mixes with the sperm produced in the testes. Together, this makes up the ejaculate that comes out at orgasm. Most men don't think about their prostate unless there is a problem with it, and would prefer if they never had to think about it. To talk about the prostate gland is to bring up images of cancer or surgery that people would prefer to ignore. But I'm here to get you to think about the prostate in a different way. The prostate can be a source of great pleasure for those willing to venture. Those men that enjoy prostate stimulation say that it greatly enhances their pleasure and intensifies their orgasms.

Many heterosexual men have a fear of having their prostate stimulated because they may interpret any pleasure they have from it as an indication that they might be homosexual, but this is not true. Fear of interpretation of the excitement with prostate stimulation is a misunderstanding of the one's anatomy. The nerves that allow for an erection pass along each side of the prostate gland. So when the prostate is stimulated, (even by a doctor) it may lead to an erection simply because the nerves are also stimulated along with the prostate. This just means that you are normal and have sensitive nerves, nothing else. But this can be used to your advantage.

Some do not want to proceed with any prostate stimulation or anal play because they are concerned with issues of cleanliness. This issue can be resolved with either a little prep work ahead of time, or with careful clean up afterwards. Simply using the bathroom ahead of time to empty the rectal vault will suffice for most. For those who want to engage in a large amount of anal play or sex, they may choose to prep with an enema. Others prefer to just wash with soap and water on the exterior and then wash themselves afterwards. The giver of the prostate stimulation can either use a glove, or a condom over a finger, or just wash the finger carefully afterwards with soap and water, paying careful attention to clean under and around the fingernails. Making sure that fingernails are trimmed and filed smooth is also a good idea.

Once you have decided to explore the sensations with prostate stimulation, you need to prepare yourself with plenty of lube and probably a little towel. One of the most important things to remember is that the anus does not produce any lubrication of its own and the tissues are fragile. Because of this, adding lubrication is very important to prevent tearing or irritation of those tissues. You can choose to use a water-based lube which is compatible with all materials and toys, but it does dry up faster than some other lubes. For anal play and prostate stimulation, you can also try silicone-based lubes. They are also compatible with latex and other condoms, and last longer than water-based lubes. Just remember that silicone-based lubrication cannot be used with silicone-based toys because the friction between them will cause the breakdown of the toy. Many people choose to use a condom over their silicone anal toy or prostate-stimulating toy in order to use the longer-lasting silicone lube.

You can experiment with different positions, some preferring to lay on their sides with one leg bent up. Others prefer to be on all fours. Others still prefer to lay flat on their backs. Whichever position you choose, a good thing to keep in mind is to go slow and let the receiver decide the pace of the activity. By going slow, the receiver feels things more intensely, it allows for relaxation, and there is less risk of hurting your partner. Fingers are the best way to start this exploration. Start by gently stimulating the exterior part of the anus with lube by stroking back and forth or pressing gently in a circular motion. Once the receiver is comfortable with this pressure, you can begin to gently introduce the tip of the finger either with constant pressure or with gentle in and out motion. As the receiver allows, you may continue to push the finger inwards until you reach the prostate.

If you point your finger forward towards the front of his body, you will find the prostate gland about 2-3 inches in, depending on the person's anatomy. You will feel a rounded surface about the size of a walnut. Once you find the prostate, you can press gently on it and stroke it from side to side or make circles around it. Because the prostate is a gland, it is softer than muscle tissue and needs to be treated gently. This means that it should not be poked, jabbed, or pushed with much force. There are many blood vessels in and around the prostate and it can get bruised if not handled properly.

It also is an added bonus that on orgasm, the PC muscles which also include the anal sphincter contract around your finger, creating extra sensation for the receiver. There are also a multitude of toys made especially for prostate stimulation. If you are going to choose one, you can use your experience with your finger's position and depth as your guide for comparison. When choosing a toy, remember that silicone, stainless steel, glass and hard plastic toys are non-porous, and do not allow bacteria to penetrate so they can be cleaned thoroughly. Some of these have loops that allow you to slip your fingers in for better handling of the toy. Regardless of what you choose, any toy used anally should have a flange/widened base to prevent it from accidentally sliding in all the way.

So if you and your partner find yourself in an adventurous mood, you can begin to explore how prostate stimulation can enhance his sexual pleasure. Don't be afraid to explore or start a dialogue with your partner. I welcome comments or questions.

Last Minute Toy Shopping

Need to do some last minute Christmas shopping? Or maybe you have some belated Chanukah gift-giving to do? Well here's a little toy shopping guide to get you going. There are so many adult toys on the market these days that the selection is dizzying. But I'm going to give you the basics.

Dildos are your basic phallic-shaped toy. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors from crazy hot-pink ones with ridges, to realistic-looking, and some even with a set of balls attached. They can be single or double-headed, depending on whether there will be pleasuring of one person at a time or two (it's always nice to share). There are some that have a suction cup on the bottom for wall mount. These seem to hold best to materials that are relatively flat and smooth - linoleum flooring, tile, etc. Strap-on dildos are made to be used with harnesses - usually strapped onto someones hips. But there are harnesses designed to strap to thighs, faces, furniture. Such creativity! Since they do come in such a wide selection, it might be difficult to choose a size. As I've mentioned in a previous post, width is usually the more relevant dimension. If you would like to choose a dildo with a similar width to your partner (or yourself) a very simple way to gauge this is to close your eyes and wrap your hand around the dildo. Chances are, your muscle memory will tell you if it similar in circumference to what your used to, then you can choose if you want to stick with it, or go for something a little wider.

Vibrators are the next main type of adult toy. As the name implies, they vibrate. There are battery-operated vibrators and there are heavy-duty vibrators with electrical cords. Some are simple in design for either vaginal or anal penetration; some are wider and curved for outer stimulation of the clitoris (or assorted other body parts); others are curved for G-spot stimulation; some are designed specifically for prostate stimulation; and some have a combination for vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time, better known as rabbit-style.

You can also get busy with some toys designed for anal play, such as plugs or beads. Remember that any anal toys should have a flange base or looped handle to prevent it from sliding in all the way and necessitating an unwanted visit to your local emergency room. Consider the material that the beads are connected with to see if it can be properly disinfected after use. Other variations on a theme include vibrating cock rings that slide onto the shaft of the penis and are worn down towards the base during penetration that can stimulate both partners.

Almost anything you choose can be fun and exciting. Two very important factors in your decision-making when buying an adult toy is material and lube choice. The majority of adult sex toys out there are made out of "jelly" or latex plastic combinations. These are not only porous materials that cannot be sterilized once used, but also contain phthalates which are considered toxic and have been shown to have unwanted hormonal effects for both men and women. Do not use these toys! Look for non-porous materials that cannot be penetrated by bacteria or viruses and can be disinfected or sterilized for future use (or for use with other partners). These are high-quality silicone, glass, and stainless steel. Do not be fooled by less expensive products that are silicone blended with other rubber because they probably have phthalates in them. Also safe for use are Elastomer, vinyl (Cyberskin), ABS plastic, lucite, and hard plastic. Those, however, should not be shared since they are porous and can't be completely disinfected. You can, however, choose to use these with a condom if it's intended to be used by more than one person.

And of course, there's lube. Saliva is great, but doesn't last very long and is not as slippery as you might need. Never use any oils, Crisco, or vaseline. First of all, these cause condoms to disintegrate. Also, they form a slick layer over the vaginal mucosa that promotes yeast growth, as well as bacteria. Water-based lubricants can be used with almost any toy and come in different levels of thickness and with or without flavors. Many women prefer to pick a lube that does not have glycerin, which is a type of sugar that can be irritating to some, and also promotes the growth of yeast. Water-based lubes are easy to clean up and do not stain. If you're looking for something that is slipperier, lasts longer, and is waterproof (think shower or hot tub), then you should try a silicone-based lube. It's ok for use with latex, but you can't use it with silicone or vinyl products. You probably will want to pick your toy first, then decide on the lube.

The variety available is outstanding and toys can be a great addition to partnered sex, or a welcomed addition for those flying solo. So good luck with your last minute toy shopping. And for those of you in Alabama where the sale of sex toys is still illegal, it's worth a drive across state lines.